If you’ve ever felt like it was difficult to show yourself the love you need, you’re not alone. Most of us are struggling with self-love.
For years, you’ve tried really hard to accept yourself wholly and embrace who you are and it just doesn’t quite seem to fit. It can be really disheartening, especially when you are desperately needing to feel that kind of love.
Standing in front of the mirror, scrutinizing your life, picking at the parts I don’t like, spiraling into the dark black hole that is life dissatisfaction. When you’re unhappy in your life, you notice every little thing. Every change, every shift in fluids, every little bit of loathe. And it feels like an avalanche that is impossible to claw your way out of.
So, whenever you’re fighting even looking in the mirror, or replaying blunders inside your brain, I want you to stop, look at this list, and listen. Try to understand why you push your own self away could also help you finally break down the walls you’ve built against yourself. Consider these reasons why you are struggling with self love :
RELEVANT SUSTAINABLE GOALS
1. YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH THE IDEA OF SELF LOVE
Let’s start with the idea of self-love. What is self-love? For many, the concept of self-love likely conjures with the idea of a nice bubble bath, watching favorite movies, or doing yoga. Unfortunately, self-love is beyond nice bubble bath and yoga. To make it worse, in today’s society, it is considered taboo to relish and love yourself openly and may be mistaken for narcissism. When in all actuality, these two are completely different. So where is the distinction? When does love for oneself breach the dangerous curve into narcissism?
Self Love is respecting your own feelings and needs as much as (or more than) others’ feelings and needs, so you have no trouble setting boundaries and saying “no.” Or telling your loved ones what would make you happy, even if it feels like you are imposing or might disappoint them.
It is about loving those parts of yourself that you believe are unlovable, and far from perfection, such as your neediness, hypocrisy, lack of integrity, or laziness. It is about willingness to put into action what is in alignment with the true desires of your heart. Self love is the unapologetic act of accepting oneself, putting yourself first, and being proud and confident in your achievements. This is a healthy mentality, unlike narcissism.
2. YOUR IDENTITY HAS ALWAYS EVOLVED AROUND BEING A CARER / GIVER FOR OTHERS
Do you ever feel guilty for doing something that is good for yourself? Do you feel like you are being selfish for not jumping to the needs of everyone else ?
If you have spent most of your life revolved around the needs of people around you, you are likely struggling with self love.
While spending your life catering to the needs of loved ones can be rewarding, you don’t realise that your own health and well-being are suffering. Unfortunately, this can lead to feeling isolated, frustrated, and even depressed. To get started, it’s normal to feel guilty sometimes, but understand that no one is a “perfect” caregiver. Believe that you are doing the best you can and making the best decisions you can at any given time.
3. YOU HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH CRITICS FROM YOURSELF AND OTHERS
The more time you spend with people who only see your flaws, the more likely you are to look down and show no mercy on yourself. It plagues all humans. Unchecked, not only does it lead to limiting beliefs, but it also stops us from taking action and creating the lives we truly desire. Over time, it becomes an increasingly heavy anchor that prevents us from going after what we want.
So what you can do about it ?
Recognise that it’s not your voice. It’s someone else’s. It’s an amalgamation of everything you have heard your whole life. It’s all the values, beliefs, and opinions of others that were imposed upon us.
When you realize it’s not your voice, it’s another moment of liberation. Take a moment to filter out those negative opinions and make sure your internal voice is kind, not critical.
Also Read :
If You Know Someone Is Struggling, Here’s What You Can Do